Floral Rants
by LeahLumos
Summary: Lily and James have some interesting interactions during their years at Hogwarts. A lot of them include a mad Lily that likes to rant. Add the rest of the Marauders and a little bit of Snape, and it makes for a very entertaining seven years. Chapter-fic! [It will have 8 chapters, posting as complete because it's basically a bunch of oneshots that would be fine on their own.]
1. First Year

**A/N: **

**I'd like to take this moment to thank any readers that have read any of my previous stories, reviewed them, and/or favorited them. **

**It made me happier than a niffler in a room full of gold. :] **

**The inspiration for this story comes from the general consensus of enjoying Lily's long rant in the reviews of my story ****_Charms Corridor Confessions_****. I enjoyed writing that part very much, so I've decided to write a small chapter-fic. It will be 7 chapters at the minimum _(Whoa! 7 years, 7 chapters? *Gasp* I wonder how she came up with that one! ;] )_, but I'll most likely have more than that _(5th year kind of demands more than one chapter . . .)_. Not all will be rants though, They'll mostly just be funny confrontations I come up with that have a mad Lily. Like this first one. :P **

**Let the Jily arguments commence! **

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**Disclaimer: ****Queen J.K. Rowling owns everything, I am but a humble peasant. :D **

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_**Floral Rants **_

_**First Year **_

_**Gryffindor Common Room **_

James Potter was sitting in the Common Room, unknowingly awaiting his doom. He had been watching Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew play Wizard's Chess for the past hour and he was getting increasingly bored. Earlier in the day, he and Sirius had decided that it would be a good idea to slip a dungbomb into someone's bag as a prank. Naturally, James had agreed wholeheartedly when Sirius had offered to do the slipping. He had known Sirius Black for a few months, but only now would he be entirely aware of how _idiotic_ he could be.

Sirius entered through the portrait hole, completely out of breath.

"Here's the cloak James, _good luck mate_!" He shoved the Invisibility cloak in James's hands and ran towards the boy's dormitory staircase.

James was completely dumbfounded, taking the cloak with raised eyebrows. "Wait, what happened? Sirius, where are you going?!"

But Sirius was already up the stairs and out of sight. Just then, an earsplitting shriek could be heard right outside of the common room.

"POTTER!"

James felt as if his pupils had widened to the size of bludgers. His stomach had dropped to his toes.

"SIRIUS! Evans was _not_ the intended target! I thought we agreed to use the dungbomb on Snivellus?!" Laughter could be heard up the stairs.

Lily Evans burst into the Common Room on a rampage. Her hair was flying around her face and her eyes were wild. Evans was angry with him on a very regular basis, James knew, but he had never seen her looking as if she could've spat fire. He didn't really know what to do with a furious Lily at this point in his life.

"Aha! I knew it!" She had spotted the cloak in James' hands and slowly stalked toward him. "_You_ put a _dungbomb_ in my bag, Potter!"

He put his hands up and backed up at the same pace, getting closer to the wall. "I didn't do it! I swear!"

She pointed her wand at his nose, making him cross his eyes to look at it. "You are _so_ lucky that this is only the beginning of First Year, Potter, or you would be bald by now! Of all the _stupid_ things you've done, I can't _believe_ you'd have the nerve to _lie_ to me! First with the nose-biting teacup, and now this? You're setting up a really bad reputation for yourself!"

"Actually Lily, James has been sitting here the entire time." Remus quietly interrupted.

She quickly turned towards him, wand still pointed at James. "Oh be quiet Lupin! This doesn't concern you."

"I'm serious, Lily-"

"No you're not!" came from the stairs.

Remus rolled his eyes. "James hasn't left the Common Room since breakfast."

"Oh please, you'd be covering for him even if he didn't have that cloak and I actually saw him do it!"

"Exactly, innocent until proven guilty." James said.

Turning back, she saw that James had a smirk on his face.

"But you _have_ the cloak! You _are_ proven guilty!"

James took on a thoughtful expression. "You know, you look rather pretty all worked up like this, Evans. I should make this a habit." He ducked out from beneath her wand while she looked surprised and made his way to the stairs.

Lily followed him and blocked his path. She then narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh no, you aren't getting off that easily, Potter! You cannot just call someone pretty and expect to get out of something! Not to mention the fact that it's insulting coming from _you_!"

James started to smirk. "Really? That's disappointing. Thanks for the advice though, Evans."

He made it around her and started to ascend the staircase, then looked back at a highly confused Lily. "Has anyone ever told you that your eyes resemble emeralds?"

"Er, frequently?"

"Good. Oh, and they sparkle when you're angry by the way." He disappeared up the stairs, leaving Lily to look after him.

She stared at the top of the staircase for a few seconds, then turned her head towards Remus and Peter.

"What just happened here?" she asked.

Peter smiled. "I believe he just got out of the argument by telling you that you look pretty."

She sighed. "It was Black that slipped the dungbomb, wasn't it?"

"It was, but don't feel bad, Lily. Apparently he also uses compliments to get out of trouble with his mum." Remus answered.

"Right. I'm going back to the Library."

She exited through the portrait hole, much more calmly than she entered, and screamed her frustration to the hallway when she realized that her bag still smelled terrible.

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**Review? Follow? Read my other stuff? **


	2. Second Year

**A/N: **

**Happy 2014! Here's a chapter! **

**Have some boyish humor. **

**A/N 2: I made some minor updates to the end of the first chapter if you want to go see them. **

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**Disclaimer: Still a peasant, Queen J.K. still owns. **

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**_Floral Rants _**

**_Second Year _**

**_Potions _**

"Eugh. I'm so bored!" Sirius complained in a whisper.

James, who was too busy chuckling quietly to himself and choosing not to pay a lick of attention to his best mate's complaints, didn't respond. Annoyed at being ignored, Sirius nudged him in the stomach with his elbow repeatedly, making James finally turn towards him with a smile on his face.

"What are you laughing at?" Sirius asked, almost desperate for entertainment.

James' smile grew. "Sirius, you have to watch this, it's hysterical."

He was confused, but watched anyway as James made a show of picking up a piece of parchment, crumpling it up, and lobbing it at the table diagonal from their own.

_Thunk_! A parchment ball hit Lily Evans square in the back of the head once more.

Sirius and James watched as her shoulders tensed and as _Snivellus_ Snape's hand curled into a fist, so James laughed, again, and this time Sirius joined him. Faintly, James was almost certain he heard Lily say, "Let it go, Sev. He's just being a berk." and saw the greasy git try to relax.

So when Sirius kept laughing, James got an idea.

"How about we make this more efficient?" He smirked.

"I like the way you think, James." Sirius returned the sentiment.

"Oi! Moony! Have any extra parchment?" James hissed.

Remus sighed and looked to his left. "Why did you lot have to come up with that nickname? It's dreadful."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Parchment, Moony. Have any?" He heard Peter laugh from behind Remus.

"Well, yeah. You two aren't actually taking notes, are you?"

They both nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, definitely." they chorused.

Remus handed them a few pieces of parchment. "I have a feeling that I'm going to regret this."

Peter snorted. "You most certainly will."

James and Sirius set to work crumpling up all of their parchment. They laughed as Remus nodded and said to himself, "Yeah, regretting that now."

Once they each had a pile of crumpled up parchment in front of them, they threw all of them at Lily and Snape in rapid succession.

When only one piece remained, James held it underneath the table in his hand and waited for them to turn around. Right on cue, they both turned to see the boys' grins and Snape sneered while Lily started whisper-yelling at James to avoid gathering Slughorn's attention. _  
_

"Can you get _any_ more immature? I figured if I just ignored you, you would stop! But no! You call in your friends and continue to use my head as a target! Do you even _know_ how many trees you probably just wasted? It's inconsiderate! And a total waste of ti-"

James threw the last wad of parchment at Snape's nose.

"Would you _lay off_?!" Lily screeched.

Professor Slughorn broke off in the middle of his lecture. "Is something the matter, Miss Evans?"

So much for avoiding getting his attention.

"Yes, professor! Potter and Black keep throwing parchment wads at me and Sev!" Lily explained.

Sirius and James watched as Slughorn's eyebrows scrunched together when he looked back at them. "That was highly unnecessary, boys."

Sirius was having trouble trying not to laugh. "Yes, sir."

"You do understand that I'll have to give you detention, of course? And take twenty points from Gryffindor?"

"Absolutely," James responded cheekily. "we wouldn't expect anything less."

"Excellent. Now, as I was saying, the Swelling Solution . . . " Slughorn continued his lecture.

"Saving that last piece of parchment for Snivelly's face, that was _brilliant_, mate!" Sirius snickered.

"I just loved the look on Evans' face when I did it."

The boys continued to laugh to themselves and all the while, James kept an eye on the pair diagonal from them. So when Lily would periodically turn around to glare at him, or Snape would look at him with a smug expression, he just had to smile.

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**Review?**


	3. Third Year

**A/N: **

**I started to write this chapter feeling great about it, then I realized that Lily wouldn't be angry or ranting anywhere in it. Maybe just a bit creeped out. So watch out for a new one-shot called _Cheering_ _Charms_ whenever I finish it. **

**So instead we have the first asking out. **

**This is where the Jily feels really start to kick in. Enjoy them. I sure did. **

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**Disclaimer: ****Still a peasant, Queen J.K. still owns. **

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_**Floral Rants **_

_**Third Year **_

_**Astronomy Tower **_

Lily Evans had always been pretty, but under the night sky at the top of the Astronomy tower, James thought she looked radiant. She carefully held the quill in her hand, occasionally making a delicate marking on the parchment in front of them. They worked on their assignment in silence for the most part, and the silence . . . it was beautiful. While she was completely focused on the star chart, he took the time to study her features (while still attempting to fill in the chart to make it seem less suspicious) and he noticed some intriguing things about them. Her usually pale skin turned alabaster in the moonlight. Her eyes had a spark to them that could beat out any star. Her fiery red hair became darker and gave off an eery copper glow. All in all, it was the perfect image.

Then she would say something to him and ruin it.

"That star doesn't go there! It goes here! If we fail this assignment it will be all your fault, Potter!" Lily suddenly rebuked.

"Er, right, sorry." James replied sheepishly.

"I can't believe that I got paired with _you_. I'd rather be working with _Black_ right now." Lily swiveled her head, making her red hair hit James in the face, and pointed to where his best mate was currently lounging against the tower railing and chatting with Marlene Mckinnon. "You see? They've _finished_ the assignment."

James followed her gaze. "You're only saying that because he's been studying stars since birth." he pointed out.

"That's irrelevant. He's _your_ best mate. You think you would've learned something from him by now."

James rolled his eyes. "Yes, because we sit around talking about _astronomy_ and _star charts_ every waking moment." he said dryly.

"Maybe you should! Then you might actually know what you are doing!" Lily countered, setting down her quill so that the star chart was now completely ignored.

"Just because you and _Snivellus_ never shut up about ruddy _Potions_-"

"Leave Sev out of this, you dunderhead!"

"Then quit questioning my intelligence!"

"I would if you _had_ any!"

"Wow, you're extremely attractive!" James said on accident. An awkward pause followed, in which Lily blushed but continued to glare directly at him.

"Shut up, Potter. That only worked in First Year."

"And you still think I'm joking . . ."

She spluttered incoherently before getting out her retort. "Only because you never _stop_!"

James had an idea, a stupid idea, but an idea all the same. "Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" he asked.

He had decided that _this_ was the right moment to ask her out for the first time.

"What? No!" Lily replied with a disgusted look.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Just thought I'd ask."

"Ugh! You're incorrigible."

The rest of the assignment was spent in silence. The beautiful one; where Lily worked and James admired her.

It was only later, while recounting what happened to Sirius, that James would realize the actual pain he felt go along with the rejection.

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**So that came out of nowhere. xD **

**Review? **


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